Chapter One Preview (Unedited)

An invisible gaze had stalked me since morning. I could feel it in the pricks along my neck that raced down between my shoulder blades, sending shivers down my spine. The kind of sensation that made you turn around in anxiety ridden panic, even without a sound to startle you. As I stood within my field, the goosebumps stretched over my skin. Petals of vibrant colors filled my vision as I wearily looked around to find the source of my unease. There was nothing in sight but the endless fields of flowers that lay at the bottom of the Godival Mountains. Even they knew something wasn't quite right. They seemed to alert me in the way they all were in a synchronized flinch from some creeping wrongness, their stalks seeming to cower away from some invisible threat.

I took a few tentative skips into the field while glancing around me. Thin, delicate pink and yellow silky tendrils brushed against my bare legs as I traversed through the flowers. When I was a few paces in, I closed my eyes, threw my arms out into the air beside me, and let my body soak in the warmth of the sun. The rays beaming down while I took a deep breath and twirled around, taking small steps between each movement to travel farther into the field. A large shadow rippled over the field so quickly I almost believed I had imagined it.

I looked up at the sky, brows pulling together, narrowing my eyes, the sky looked unnatural. I tilted my head as my now trembling hand moved to shield my eyes from the blinding light of the sun. Millions of tiny crystal-looking flakes fell in a light rain. Landing on my skin like soft kisses before absorbing into me.  What the hell…? 

Dizziness washed over me like a rogue wave. I staggered, arms dropping limp, vision swimming with flecks of the beauty that had rained down on me. I started to sway slightly, suddenly lightheaded. That’ll teach you to twirl too much at twenty-three years old. Logic hissed at me that something much worse was happening.  

  “Amalia!” a distorted voice called out slicing through my confusion. Twisting I attempted to look at who would be in my field. I'd rarely seen anyone visit the fields like I did, I’d like to think they were mine alone; you’d likely find a fairytale creature like a dragon before seeing another person. 

One heartbeat was all the time it took. I was slipping away, I could feel it. I became weightless before I could fully turn my head. The ground vanished, no longer beneath my feet. Every limb felt like clouds. Was I floating or falling? A jolt of electricity surged through my body, lightning struck within my veins, alighting my nerves in flames. The field blurred into a kaleidoscope of colors. Then I was nothing at all as darkness sank over me.

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A rush of heat swarmed around me as the beats in my chest quickened to an unnatural rhythm. I watched as a young woman walked past me, like I wasn’t even there. Dirt climbing up and staining her calves. She stopped just a few feet away from where I was, a haze taking over my vision, making it hard to see as my eyes began to water. A harsh, heated wind picked up as debris flew all around. The woman turned back, a stone expression locked in place. She was looking past me, through me, to something or someone else. It was so hard to see her clearly, I tried to rub my eyes, though my hands never reached my face. Squinting, I strained to see her. I tried to focus. Her face, down to her clothes and arms also caked in a thick film of grime. What had she gone through? I couldn’t speak no matter how hard I tried, my vocal chords feeling as if they’d been singed like a log left to burn throughout the night. The woman took a few steps toward my position, raising her hand toward what was beyond me. Frustration bubbled to the surface as my vision prevented me from seeing clearly no matter how hard I struggled to focus on the one standing before me. Her skin began to glisten the closer she neared, making me think she may have been wet if she wasn’t covered in dirt… wait. That wasn't dirt. It… It was blood she was covered in. Coating her entire form. The woman choked back a sob, her outstretched arm snatching back to cover her mouth, eyes squeezing shut like she couldn’t bear whatever emotion consumed her. After a few seconds, her eyes snapped open. A look of determination in them before both arms extended, reaching like she was summoning something to come to her. Heat radiated below me, but my gaze didn't leave the woman. I watched helplessly as fire flowed from either side of where I stood, heading toward each of her arms. A soundless but painful scream burned my throat; she didn't hear me. My legs attempted and failed to lurch toward her, I didn't move—my feet felt like they were locked in place with shackles. I couldn’t save her. She didn’t see me. The fire reached her hands and as the flames licked at her skin, she tilted her head up to the sky, her body arching. I heard a strangled sound as she cried out an apology that got swallowed by the sound of death, whoever the cry was for could never have heard it. Before I could blink, the flames devoured her blood-coated body. I fought against the invisible chains holding me in place, I thrashed my fists against the walls I couldn’t see stopping me from intervening. The fire erased her existence, turning her into nothing but ash swirling in the night wind. The world around me trembled as I heard a bellow so powerful I felt it in my bones, infecting me with the emotions behind the horror-stricken sound. Heartbreak, anger, and disbelief ricocheted through me until a shockwave made my vision go black. 

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I gasped for breath as air refused to fill my lungs which felt like they were constricting like a snake wrapping around its prey. I tried to open my eyes, but they didn't budge. Stuck in a slumbering state by some invisible vise, I tried to stir, but my limbs weren’t moving either, as if they were no longer attached to my body. Move. Scream. Twitch. Anything! What is happening to me? Fear made my heart frantically hammer against my chest.

Something firm and warm cradled my head, providing me with a moment of serenity. Reminding me of when one lies in a lover's lap. Only one other person knew I visited here—Story, my best friend. I’d known her since I was a toddler and we’d been inseparable since. Our families let us go off on whatever adventure we found, never asking questions just letting us run freely. This wasn’t her lap, this lap felt strong, and where hers was boney and delicate, this felt thick and muscular, radiating a warmth around me. I felt… safe. Too safe.

A burst of unease scorched me. My stomach dropped as the recollection that I had been feeling someone watching me all day resurfaced. The hand that was caressing me could easily be the hand that ends me. The hand of the one who had been watching, waiting. Were they waiting for this moment? Not only could I not see them, I couldn't move to defend myself, not that I really knew how. I tried to twitch a finger, nothing. My mind was screaming at my body to listen to my commands, move, open your eyes, run. But my limbs simply took those as suggestions that they had no intention of taking. 

 I felt a rough hand gently caressing my face, slowly, carefully, then the caress moved up my cheek until their fingers ran tenderly through my hair. As much as reason tried to tell me I should be afraid, my pulse slowed, matching the rhythm of the caress. I tried to open my eyes again, they fluttered ever so slightly before a voice murmured, “I’m sorry,” unfamiliar yet so intimate as if I knew them, “for what they’ve done.”

My head rose, briefly weightless once more for only a moment, before the ground I had come to have memorized welcomed me like a friend. The sharp blades of grass tickled my ears, I wished they could whisper to me everything that was happening. Help me understand. The slight buzzing of wings of what I could only assume was a bee collecting pollen from a flower above me brought my thoughts back to the moment. Breathe. Just breathe. 

Footsteps led away from me toward where I knew a small group of trees lay, just before the end of the trail I had taken to get to the field. Silence surrounded me. Breathe. I tried again to wiggle my fingers, willing them to do something, anything. I was rewarded with the slightest flicker of movement, but it was enough. A burst of adrenaline spread through my veins boosting my confidence and encouraging me to try to open my eyes again. Blurry colors of blue seeped through the slit my eyes created. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my racing heart. It was no longer thrumming out of fear, but hope.

Footsteps sounded again—closer now. The stranger was back. I didn’t attempt to move my body, opting for limpness, as I felt my head being lifted again, a bit more forcefully than before. I tried to pry my eyes open one last time; bright sun brutally attacked, piercing my eyeballs with a white-hot pain. I jerked my head away from the onslaught, fright filled me as an automatic groan escaped my lips giving away I was conscious.

“Amalia?” I heard the voice say—clearer now, soaked with confusion and another emotion I couldn’t quite place. “Gods— you’re awake?” they said breathlessly. I slowly turned my head in the direction of the voice, my movements felt forced and sluggish. I realized as his face became less blurred that I knew this man. His features were coming into focus. I saw his eyes first, which were so strikingly light blue they looked icy. Resembling the waters surrounding the glaciers of Raeganarde, an abandoned winter kingdom in the Forgotten Lands. I could make out details of his features like his strong jawline and full lips that were partially parted, framed by laugh lines. His straight and narrow nose that turned just slightly to the sky at the end, and his light blonde hair reflected the sun, a blonde color that bordered on almost white.

I still felt a dizzying sensation, the world around me still spinning like a never ending dance. But him? Lane, he filled my vision, grounding me. 

“L—Lane,” I coughed out, my throat burning as I spoke. “Wha—What happened? I think I passed out.” Some small part of me knew I hadn’t. I— No, my soul felt… different.

His jaw tightened and he looked at me for a moment tilting me to sit up before he said, “I’m not sure passing out is the correct phrase.” A cautious smile lifted his cheeks. “You survived, let's focus on that for a second, Can you stand?” 

Survived? 

My brain started spinning, and I felt as though I were going to slip back into oblivion for a second time.

“Woah, hey, Amalia, easy. You’re okay.” Lane said as I felt my body fall back. 

Tingles ran through my body, sending warning bells, something wasn’t right. I wasn’t right. Lane caught me before I fell. “What happened to me?” Rubbing my head, I tried to make sense of the fact that I’d gone from being in my field to waking up practically paralyzed.

I sat up slowly with the support from Lane’s hand still on my back. As I got upright and took in a breath, I smelled the blazing stars around me. Their faint scent of vanilla soothed my anxiety as it filled my nostrils. With a steadying breath I moved to my knees, then lifted my right leg while pushing off with my left. Lane followed my movements like we were one person, then shifted his body effortlessly so I could lean against him.

“We can stay like this for a moment, try to get used to the feeling and then you can attempt to take a few steps.” He must have seen the doubt in my facial expression, because he immediately responded with, “Don’t worry, I will be right here. I’m not going anywhere.” 

I slid my left foot forward, my heart lurched watching the withered plants beneath me rip easily from the soil, not able to lift my weight off the ground. “I don’t think I can,” I whispered, more to myself than anything. 

“You can.” His voice was rough, “What you just went through is something humans were not meant to survive.” Calloused palms came up to cup my face briefly before returning to hold me. My body was already swaying without the support like a sapling trying to stay upright during a vicious summer storm . “Try again, but focus on lifting your foot.” My brows pulled together as his words registered in my groggy mind. 

Lane started to turn me so we were facing the trail back to our village, still about fifty feet away from where we were. With some assistance we started toward the trail, me clinging to his brawny bicep as I tried to take small steps.

“What exactly did I survive?” I asked, voice trembling from the effort to speak, looking over at him while still paying attention to my steps. One misstep or above-ground root and I’d be a goner. 

Lane looked at me with uncertainty swirling in his eyes. “I don’t know,” he said blankly. The words were hollow, his attention quickly skirting away from me.

  Didn’t he say that humans were not meant to survive what happened to me? How would he know that, if he didn’t know what happened…

I quickly realized I had to relax my face as it ached from the sharpened stare I sent his way. My thoughts had always had a way of showing all over my face. His jaw clenched as he noticed my skepticism..

“You don’t know?” I asked, distrust laced the question.

He just stared ahead.

“But you just—” 

“Listen, I don’t know what happened.” His eyes began to darken, “I saw the villagers in the market on my way to the field and they were all on the ground, none of them got up.”

Everything stopped for just a moment. “What do you mean, didn’t get up, Lane?” With each labored breath I took, I felt them quicken and become more shallow. My lungs felt like knives were slicing into them.

“They were dead, Amalia.” 

I gasped for a breath that my lungs refused to take in. “Ev— everyone’s dead? My family? Story?” My chest began to tighten, the weight of everything felt like a boulder weighing me down. “I-I-I c-can’t b-b-breathe,” I said, clawing at my throat. I stumbled as my mind spiraled. My sisters, my brother, and father. Were they really gone? 

“Hey, hey, Amalia, I’m here, I’ve got you.” Lane braced my back against his chest, his taut form wrapping around me like a blanket as my knees buckled. He crossed my arms over my chest and held me tight as I fought to take in a full breath. 

“How are they gone? What happened!” I screech. The sudden grief was too much.

“Just calm down, Amalia. You’re still here.”

“CALM DOWN? Lane!” I shouted through the struggle. “You just said everyone in the village is dead, and you’re telling  ME, who just woke up with no control of her body, to calm down? Are you insane?” I was practically gasp-screaming at him, everything was a fight, I was battling myself to walk, to talk. I looked at the trail ahead and I no longer wanted to walk toward it. I looked back at my field and the mountains, back where everything had always been good and peaceful. It had always been a sanctuary for me. 

“I could be wrong. I hope I’m wrong, but if not, you need to be prepared.” Lane said, his voice held a hint of regret. 

A nod of my head was all I could manage while struggling for air as I stared blankly at a tree ahead. Numbness overtook the shock. “I woke up, though.” A small ember of hope ignited. “So they could all be waking up now as well. Right?” My instincts knew the answer, but I couldn’t help but want to be wrong. 

Lane’s silence doused that ember quickly and I faced the trail. The branches that interlaced together overhead created a shaded path of gloom, the leaves falling in slow motion from the limbs high above my head like the trees were crying for the loss. 

After a few minutes of us shuffling down the path in silence I couldn’t help but ask, “So, if what happened affected everyone, as you say. How are you alive?” The more we walked, the more time I had to think. I was able to grasp that I’d almost died. I needed answers as to why. Answers I felt he had, but would he share them?

He shrugged his shoulders, “I wish I knew, it may be the same reason you are.” 

“Why were you headed to the field?” He had been in Cimmerian for a while now and I had never seen him visit it on his own. 

“I see someone has some of their energy back.” He glanced at me with a crooked smile that lifted his right cheek. “Well, I've been wanting to talk with you all day, but I just couldn’t find the right time, then I noticed you heading here so when I finished helping your father, I headed this way.”

“Talk?” I echoed the word.

“Yes. Talk.”

Clearly I had to pry this out of him. I’m the one struggling to function, yet he can’t carry this conversation. “Abouuuuutt?” I said, dragging out the word in hopes he would be less mysterious.

“Amalia, this is not the time for this conversation. At all.” I could tell by his tone that was meant to end this conversation, but I wasn’t one to leave things be. 

“Hello?” I waved an arm out weakly, “Are you forgetting I’m moving at a snail's pace?” My foot snagged on a barely visible root, causing me to stumble before Lane’s hand darted out, steadying me. “Thank you.” I said quickly before continuing, “Unless you’d like to carry me, I think we have some time.” My breath came out in pants from the exertion of trying to hold a conversation, but I needed this distraction.

The realization was sharp and hit me quickly, those feelings of being watched. It had been him lurking, waiting to supposedly have a conversation.

“I promise it can wait, we should really discuss what the plans are for when we reach the village if everyone…” his sentence trailed off as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Is dead,” I finished for him, my face deadpan. 

“Amalia.” 

“Well.” I continued even though each word was a struggle. “The first thing I will be doing is having a mental breakdown, because that will mean the death of everyone I love.” My voice went up an octave like it was just any other cheerful conversation between us.

Silence and pressure suffocated the space, Lane’s eyes roaming over me. Studying me. “You don’t need to do that.” He said bringing us to a stop.

“Do what?” 

“Brush what could be waiting for us off with jokes, like it’s not affecting you.”

I’m not sure if it was the fact he saw through me so easily or that his words made everything I’m trying to shove deep within me rush to the surface. “I don’t know what you want from me Lane, this is the only way I can handle what is going on. The sky shimmered then I woke up with no control of my own body, then you tell me everyone I know is probably dead. If I don’t find a way to deal with it, I will crumble. This is how I deal with it.”

“Shimmered?” His eyebrow went up. That’s what he took from my outburst?

“Yes.” I said slightly annoyed, “it looked like the sky was raining diamonds or something. I know it sounds crazy, but that’s what I saw.”

“Did you see anything before? What about after, do you remember anything?”

He asked the questions so quickly my mind went blank. I thought for a moment, trying to recall anything else. What could I say to him to explain? “I don’t really remember, I suppose I felt as if I was falling asleep while still awake. Which I know sounds equally weird, but honestly that’s exactly what it felt like. My body was going to sleep, but my mind was still active and trying to register what was going on around me.” One memory burned in my mind. The woman— I didn’t recognize her but I felt a connection with her. The flames consuming her will haunt me for a while. I don’t know if it was a nightmare, but I couldn’t allow myself to speak about it. There were already enough unknowns for us to handle. This one could wait. My hair brushed my shoulders in a sweeping motion as I shook my head back and forth as I tried to clear the vision away and refocus on the conversation. 

Lane was silent, the still quiet air making me writhe until I threw my hands in the air before they collapsed against my thighs, I blurted, “I sound crazy, don’t I?”

Lane jumped back from my sudden outburst like I had been hiding behind a corner and pounced on him. “No, you sound alive, and confused. I just don’t have the words to say. I’m sorry that it happened to you, and I wish I knew why it didn’t happen to me.” He paused for a moment, his mouth twisting up ever so slightly before adding, “And I can’t believe I missed the raining glitter.” He shot me a sidelong glance; I retaliated with a hit to his shoulder that wouldn’t bruise a newborn baby. The attempt at easing my small spiral didn’t go unnoticed. 

“Shut up,” I said, running my hands through my tangled waves of burnt apricot. “It was rather beautiful before it made me pass out.” I shot him my own smile, this time he let me make the joke without any comment. “Maybe there are others alive, and we will find out more once we get back. They could have seen something different, heard something.”

“Yeah,” Lane replied solemnly as he scratched the back of his neck. “Maybe.”

We walked the rest of the trail in eerie silence, even the few songbirds perched on limbs were silent. I had never known them to not have a song to share. I couldn’t help but feel the underlying warning there, like they were waiting for us to see what they already had. A large rotting oak tree that had fallen long ago laid ahead. The mushrooms growing in waves along the sides of it had become a marker for me to gauge where I was along the trail. I knew we were about thirty feet from a bend that led into the main courtyard of our village. Every weekend, markets took place in the mornings. If I had my mind right. The courtyard should have been full of people and life.

A rush of chills ran down my spine, and I slowed to a stop, casting a glance behind us.

“Are you okay?” Lane asked, putting his hand out for me.

Staring into the empty space I could have sworn I saw shadows moving, I looked at the branches and they were unmoving. I uttered quietly, “I’m fine, I thought I saw... a shadow.” 

Lane's face became serious, and his striking blue eyes deepened, shapes resembling shards sharpening around his pupils. A deep blue rim outlined the outer edge, the color of aqua filling the middle. “We are on a trail, there are shadows everywhere.”

After a few moments of silence he looked at me and said, “Why are you staring at me?” The words coming out defensive.

“I… I’m sorry, it’s just your eyes.” How had I never seen them like this before?

“I’ve been told I can thank my father for them.” There was a hint of malice in his voice as he spoke, making me wonder why it would be something he loathed. He had been banished to live in Cimmerian almost a year ago, I can imagine that would cause resentment between father and son. A part of me wished to reach out and soothe him. 

“Can you walk with me?” I held out my hand to him, so he knew I didn’t just mean by my side. We both needed to be closer, for entirely different reasons. Him for the internal battle I brought attention to, and me for what we were undoubtedly about to see. 

He looked down at my hand as his jaw clenched, he had never had to think about this before. “Of course.” He slipped his rigid fingers with my trembling ones and we moved forward.

We took thirty steps together, each one silent. No sounds other than the crunching of fallen leaves, and twigs snapping under our feet, before we reached the clearing where it opened into the courtyard. 

Silence. 

It was like we reached a void. There should be chatter, kids playing, music from the old men sitting and playing banjos in rocking chairs by the jerky cart.

There was nothing.

My feet hit cobblestone and I took in the scene that awaited in front of me, sending my world into darkness.

Bodies.

So many bodies strewn haphazardly over the ground. There was no blood, there were no visible wounds, it was as if they’d all fallen asleep where they were. Sleeping, as I had explained I felt my body doing not too long ago in the field. I stood there and watched for the rise and fall of chests for seconds, minutes, but nothing. My heart felt as though it was about to pound out of my chest, each beat as powerful as an earthquake. Why was mine still beating and not theirs? I couldn’t help but scan the faces for my family. Terrified I may see my brother, his infantry uniform torn while he lay on the ground. My sisters, grouped together because they never left each other's side. They weren’t wanderers like me.

  I dropped Lane’s hand and tried to speak my fear, but a sob I didn’t know had built in my swollen throat escaped instead. I threw my hands over my mouth to stifle it and dropped to my knees. A sharp pain greeted me as vulnerable skin met rough stone . I lifted my hands from my mouth just an inch to utter choked words, “I don’t understand.”

Beside me, Lane didn’t say a word; he just started moving into the courtyard. He knelt beside the Glendar twins, one boy and one girl, about seven years old. Their small fists still clutching Claudia’s hand-stitched lambs—the ones she’d slipped them after their father’s fury over a few escaped pigs. I remembered her mischievous wink and words that day: “Every adorable troublemaker deserves a soft place to lay their heads.” Lane placed a finger under each of their small innocent noses, checking for a breath. When his head fell and shoulders drooped, I knew they were gone.

 I peered at the entire courtyard then, at all the people I had grown up around, all the people I’d just seen full of happiness a few hours ago. Leonard and Grewton sitting in the rocking chairs with jerky lying on the ground beneath the hands that lay limp on the armrests. Claudia lay over her market table, coins spread out on the wood as if she had been handing someone their change just moments ago. The twins, and the ladies of the morning group who drank chamomile tea and sang morning tunes for all who passed by. The ladies were always dressed in the most exquisite silk gowns, showcasing their curves with vibrant colors of oranges and pinks. They all lay on the cobblestone ground; it was too dirty for their dresses to be on it. I got up and scrambled to the twins first, trying to pick them up off the ground. “We have to get them off the ground, Lane, it's filthy, their father will be furious.” 

“Amalia, please,” he pleaded with me. I was spiraling, I knew I was. Yet I still ran over to the ladies of the morning. Using my feet, I scooted their dresses together so less fabric was strung out across the ground. I felt tears burning trails along my cheeks, I couldn’t stop. I needed to help them. I needed to fix this.

“Amalia.” Lane’s voice was a muffled whisper now, like he was speaking underwater and I was already adjusting the twins’ weight in my arms, smoothing their brown hair to the side.

 I headed to pick up the jerky Grewton had dropped. “Ain’t nothing here goes to waste under my watch, in my day we’d be beaten to a pulp for so much as a crumb left untouched,” I could hear his raspy voice lecturing us. I tried to place it back in his hand, but the jerky would just fall back onto cobblestone. I shoved the piece forcefully under his sleeve, lodging it between the arm of the chair and his lifeless arm, determined to make this scene right.

I was trying my hardest to bend down to get another fallen piece while holding the twins, but they were so heavy, and I was still weak. I fell to the side and slammed my right shoulder against the cobblestone. Pain ricocheting through my bones. The twins fell to the ground, their heads making an audible crack as they hit stone and lolled to the side. Everything I had shoved down broke free, I ruptured. I was wailing, I knew I was even though I couldn’t hear a thing, my breaths were coming in quick succession, tears were taking over my vision. I grabbed the twins, cradling them in my arms and rocked back and forth, repeatedly asking through a shattered voice. “Why, why, why!?”

Looking around, I saw leonards banjo with its snapped chord. everything became a watery blur, and I couldn’t focus. I felt my own threads snapping one by one. There were just so many bodies. No, they weren’t just bodies… I knew… I’d known them. I’d grown up with some of them, was influenced and molded by others. I’d seen them all just earlier this morning, bustling about trying to prepare for the market to open. Now this would be my last memory of them. Lifeless on the cobblestone.

I felt Lane drop beside me as the air around me shifted, His arms locked around me becoming my only anchor. His body tense as it supported mine. His chin rested on my shoulder as he pulled me against him. Guilt swallowed me as I listened to his heartbeat. Why did we survive when everyone else was dead?